Eulogy Press
Eulogy Press understands its mission statement – to make high school teachers everywhere sick. The teachers deserve it. The teachers know what they did. Nobody likes high school except for the teachers. Lost amid people that never age, merely shuffle through the prison-like corridors, the high school teacher holds their head high. Fortunately, Eulogy Press is there to make the teachers think twice, to hit them where it hurts when they aren’t looking. An admirable goal, those across the internet have praised Eulogy Press for their dedication to never giving up, to keep on going to make the high school teacher’s life a living, breathing hell. Within the Beach Sloth headquarters, all our employees have come together to praise the words of Eulogy Press, understanding that high school revenge is a dish best served cold, decades after the fact.
The staff behind Eulogy Press has made their online presence felt in the place where it must be felt – online. Literature on the internet is still a relatively new phenomenon, but it can manifest in various forms. Among the hallowed pages of Eulogy Press are multiple prose editors, poetry editors, even a head honcho of all the editors, a true editor’s editor, the always affable, occasionally laughable, rough draftable Macy Craig. Beyond that, there is a tad of podcast royalty in the form of Respond Pod’s very own David Gladfelter. With a last name that indicates good times and the defeat at a casino, Gladfelter has an eagle eye for the literary scene that lives within pixels. If you are reading this, you are no doubt familiar with the World Wide Web, and, if you’re that familiar, why not get a bit more familiar with the internet’s greatest oddball, Mr. Gladfelter?
Beyond the sleek design of the site, Eulogy Press keeps things simple, the way the internet used to be before it devolved and splintered into Group Chats, shared images, and other assorted debris. We deserve better from the internet, with domain names that are camped on and made to be whole. Eulogy Press is fighting the good fight against botting in the online space, proving that even as AI takes over, humans will continue to create excellent writing for many more years. We need those willing to stand up to all those who wronged us in high school, to press them until death, then offer a stunning eulogy. That’s what Eulogy Press is about – revenge, and what better way to express revenge than through the written word, the way it has been for centuries.
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